


peter parker’s failed zoom meeting

by soperiso



Series: coronavirus and superhero quarantines [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Avengers Tower, Because Fuck Endgame, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Domestic Avengers, Gen, Humor, Irondad, Irondad & Spiderson, Jewish Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Tony Stark Coparenting Peter Parker, Mentioned May Parker (Spider-Man), Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Quarantine, Supportive May Parker (Spider-Man), and tony and steve are still beefing, because i have feelings and the compound just isn’t the same, god i love may parker, in which the rogues have been pardoned and are living at the tower, is that the right tag?, or at least, peter says one (1) yiddish phrase so i think i can tag this as, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24786622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soperiso/pseuds/soperiso
Summary: Peter joins the class Zoom meeting and immediately tries to add his usual Kermit the Frog backdrop, but the computer won’t let him. “Come on,” he says to it, quiet enough that it doesn’t carry into the microphone, “Work with me, here!” The computer refuses to work with him, and Peter suffers the cruel fate of having his classmates see that he is most definitely not in his shoebox apartment in Queens, but rather in the Avengers Tower.Or, Peter suffers through having his entire class learn that he’s quarantining with superheroes. Yikes.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Series: coronavirus and superhero quarantines [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1766203
Comments: 33
Kudos: 849





	peter parker’s failed zoom meeting

**Author's Note:**

> it’s been a hot minute since i last updated this series, oops. updates will probably be more frequent in the future!

“Who the hell schedules a Zoom meeting for eight in the morning on a Wednesday?” Peter groans, plopping down on a chair next to the kitchen counter. He places his computer on the chair next to him and lets his head fall onto his arms.

Tony pours a cup of coffee and slides it to Peter, “Good morning to you, too, Pete.”

“I mean, it could’ve been at literally any other time. Two in the afternoon. Eight at night. I’m not picky.” Peter continues, taking a sip of the coffee before hissing and sticking his tongue out.

“Careful, it’s hot,” Tony laughs, stirring some scrambled eggs.

Peter glares at him, maintaining eye contact as he takes another sip. Power move. He thinks he did a pretty good job of hiding his wince, but the look Tony gives him tells him otherwise. 

“What class?” Tony passes him a plate of the eggs, which actually look really good. If there’s one thing Tony Stark can cook, it’s eggs.

“Ugh, English,” Peter takes a bite and hums appreciatively, “Because we can have nothing good in this world.”

“Uh huh,” Tony says, “It’s almost eight, you should probably get your stuff set up.”

Peter looks at the little clock on the microwave, then: “Oh, shit.” He scarfs down the rest of his eggs, chugs his coffee, loses every single one of his tastebuds, and vaults over the couch, computer in hand. If he hears Tony mutter “Dramatic, much?” under his breath, he ignores it.

“Everyone’s still asleep, right?” Peter calls over to Tony, opening his laptop and clicking on the little Zoom icon, “Nobody’s gonna bug me during this?”

“They’re either asleep or not here, so you’re good.”

Peter raises his arm over his head and gives Tony a big thumbs up. Tony snorts and walks back to wherever he came from. His workshop, probably.

Peter enters the meeting code and password, his leg doing the bouncy thing as he waits to be let into the call.

He is let into the call and immediately tries to add his usual Kermit the Frog backdrop, but the computer won’t let him. “Come on,” he says to it, quiet enough that it doesn’t carry into the microphone, “Work with me, here!” The computer refuses to work with him, and Peter suffers the cruel fate of having his classmates see that he is most definitely not in his shoebox apartment in Queens.

By some grace of God, nobody mentions it. The only reason he isn’t in his actual home is because he and May decided to stay at the Avengers Tower until the ‘stay at home’ order is lifted. Peter knows that May knows that Peter would go apeshit if he didn’t get to be spider-y for weeks on end, and the Tower has a training room and actual Avengers to train with. Also, it’s nice to have a lot of people to talk to. Don’t get him wrong, Peter would have no problem being quarantined with May only. It’s just that having more people isn’t a bad thing.

Things are still a bit… iffy between Steve and Tony, so he and May are also kind of there for emotional support. Peter couldn’t imagine being trapped with the guy who he had a whole ass show-down with and the team that backed him. He’s happy to be there for Tony.

_________

The Zoom meeting is fine, all things considered. There’s a million things Peter would rather be doing than listen to his teacher drone on and on about the connection between Pi and Richard Parker—which, isn’t that a trip? His dad had the exact same name as a boat tiger—in Life of Pi, but such is the life of a high school student. He’s constantly doing things he doesn’t want to do for the sake of his grade. 

Peter hears footfalls coming from behind him. Oy gevalt, he thinks, whipping around to see who’s behind him. His Parker Luck strikes again because, lo and behold, there’s Captain America making himself some toast. Granted, he’s not wearing the suit, but he’s still pretty recognizable out of it. Oh, and the shield is sitting on the counter.

Peter tries to subtly angle himself in front of Steve and the shield so that both are out of view, but he’s not quick enough.

“Peter… is that Captain America?”

He screams, internally. Externally, he says, “What? No, no, it’s, uh. May’s new boyfriend, uh, Chad.” Peter winces. Chad, really? May would never date a Chad. A Kevin, maybe, but a Chad? She’s a woman of taste, come on, Peter.

“No, I’m pretty sure that’s Captain America. I’ve seen enough of those dumb PSA’s to know what the guy looks like. Plus, nobody is that ripped without some sort of drug, dude.”

So, they haven’t seen the shield. There may be hope for Peter yet.

“Ok, everyone, leave Peter alone. Can anyone tell me what Yann Martel was trying to convey by having Pi wind up on a carnivorous island?” 

Peter could practically hear crickets chirping. Then: “The tiger’s gonna eat him?” Someone says. Peter doesn’t know who.

“Good guess, but no. It’s actually…” 

Peter zones her out, focusing on aggressively signalling that Steve needs to leave, like, now. Steve either genuinely doesn’t notice or decides to be an ass and ignore Peter for the hell of it. Peter’s money is on the latter. Steve puts up a front of ‘wow, look at me, I’m so righteous and heroic’ but after actually getting to know him, Peter can safely say that the man is actually a little (big?) shit.

“Parker?” 

There’s nothing that will break Peter out of his thoughts like being called on by a teacher. “Yeah?” He says, figuring that that’s a safe response.

His teacher sighs, “I asked you if you thought that Pi hallucinated the Frenchman.”

Peter thinks back to the novel that he most definitely did not read, and says something about the Frenchman being a product of Pi’s need for human interaction. His teacher seems to accept that as a valid answer and moves on to another topic. Thank God for SparkNotes. 

“Ok, no, that’s definitely Captain America,” Someone says, “He’s even got his shield.”

At that, Steve looks up and waves to the camera before walking out of the kitchen.

“‘May’s boyfriend’ my ass, Parker. Why are you with Captain America? Where even are you, man? That’s not your kitchen.” Trust Flash Thompson to make his life miserable.

“Why do you know what Peter’s kitchen looks like, Flash?” Ned, his sunshine, the light of his life, says.

“We were partnered for a project a bit ago. Answer the question, Parker.”

“Flash!” The teacher reprimands, “That’s quite enough! Peter’s home life is none of your business.”

Flash reluctantly backs off, and the lesson continues.

The sound of yelling coming from Peter’s microphone once again directs all attention to Peter, who would really, truly, rather be anywhere other than here right now. It sounds like Tony and Steve are beefing again. Surprise, surprise. 

“I don’t give a damn if you need quick access to them, the shoes go in the shoe bin! End of story!” That’s Tony, for sure. God, are they really fighting over where Steve’s shoes go? That’s excessive, even for them.

“What if there’s a fire, Tony? I need to be able to grab them and go!”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Steve.”

“Mr. Stark,” Peter calls, “Can you do this somewhere else?”

“Sorry, Pete! Forgot you had a class.” Tony shouts back.

Peter jumps when a voice comes out of his computer, “Did you just say ‘Mr. Stark’? As in Tony Stark?”

Ah, fuck.

Peter pinches the bridge of his nose and nods.

Cue: chaos.

Everyone’s talking over one another, all wondering why Puny Peter Parker would be hanging out with Iron Man and Captain America.

“It’s, uh, for my Stark Internship. You know, the one that I told you guys about a while ago?”

“You’re telling me that was real?” Flash, again.

“Oh, for the love of— Class dismissed! We’re obviously not going to get anything done, so let’s just call it quits. Peter, try to set up in a less distracting location next time. Bye, guys.”

And with that, the call is ended.

Peter smashes his face against his keyboard and quietly screams.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! feel free to drop a kudos and let me know what you think in the comments!
> 
> come hang out with me on [tumblr!](https://soperiso.tumblr.com)


End file.
